SCA’s secret, but tried and true, recipe
Preparation time: 3 years to never
Chefs: 1 GM + 2-member Board work group handpicked by the king
Product is very hot. Chefs are required by law to protect the secret sauce by making sure no one but the “authorized” chefs gets close enough to see what’s in the mix. Their eyes will be burned right out of their heads, and SCA’s attorney advises that it will be their own fault.
Before mixing ingredients:
- All other Board members, except Rex, may be kept out of the mix at the discretion of the “authorized” chefs
- 1 Board member must be crushed and removed using a very sharp knife to prevent the product being tainted by new ingredients or botched by “unauthorized” chefs or nosy neighbors
By order of the king, and upon advice of counsel, Rex can be anywhere. Know this, Board member chefs, you serve at the pleasure of the king. Any deviation from his rule will result in your being banished and shunned.
Upon the advice of counsel, and by operation of some invisible law, the king controls everything – who can be a chef, who is allowed in the kitchen, who must eat the cooked goose, and even, who can know that something is being cooked up.
Critical Step: Mix all ingredients in the dark
- Consult with 1 possible vendor for a year before other vendors are put in the mix.
- Throw into the trash any vendors that pop up that chefs don’t like
- Select 10 possible vendors by secret formula to receive RFP.
- When 7 vendors (including the one handpicked by the king) don’t go smoothly into the mix, make sure no one else knows their names or why they didn’t fit in.
- Conduct 3 workshops to report what “authorized“chefs have done, being careful not to let any sunshine get on the actual product or it can be spoiled by nosy neighbors, especially those who “claim” they were chefs in another kitchen.
- The GM and the king will make sure that the 2 Board member “authorized” chefs become firmly attached to GM & to the cooked goose so they won’t go to the dark side.
- NO ONE, other than “authorized” chefs, are ever permitted to do any mixing of the SCA secret sauce, regardless of how much mixing they “claim” to have done elsewhere.
- Do not deviate from this formula. It is a guaranteed way to mix up the exact same SCA secret sauce and cooked goose as has been shoved down the throats of SCA nosy neighbors multiple times in the past.